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Maine Ramblings

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I’m going to resort to a riff and ramble here, in the wedge between fall activities and starting to approach the holidays. Our weather is changing too but thankfully not with the vicious weather pattern around the country right now. My heart goes out to the many thousands dealing with the wrath of winter so early.

The election season this month went from exciting to “exciting” as much of it did not go my way. But I was able to spend an evening with our Commander-in-Chief as he offered up support for our gubernatorial candidate. This was a complete thrill for my 12-year old that is a total U.S. president and politics buff. (Yes she held me captive for the entire 14 count ’em hours of the Ken Burns Roosevelt documentary!) One of the joys of our small Portland host city was an intimate venue… President Obama was right there. Sleeves rolled up and relaxed, he did not disappoint and the energy in the room was charged. But please readers stick with me no matter your leanings…. I do cross the aisle as many of my dearest friends are Republicans!

Talking about Portland, Maine, it continues to grow in a good direction with a few new restaurants that serve up darn good dumplings and Asian fare. These spots are long overdue in my opinion, and although they have a bit of a fusion sensibility in menu and lack the hard-core Chinese cooking my family often craves… we’ll take it! Enough with the upscale pizza joints! This time of year also offers all sorts of crafty fairs from church lunches to uber-cool art college holiday markets…. just love it… sometimes three or four can be roamed in a day. I do try and “buy local” too…. as our culture (thank goodness) moves away from black Friday-style consumerism, and of course meeting artisans from every walk of life, I get inspired to keep my hands making.

My most exciting news is an invitation to participate with ‘Lucky Bamboo Book of Crafts’ in the Peabody Essex Museum Lunar New Year Festival on February 28th, 2015. The Year of the Goat (or Ram, or Sheep?) will be a great opportunity to do crafts with kids and celebrate! This eclectic gem of a museum in Salem, MA (www.pem.org) boasts an impressive Asian collection and an authentic ancient Chinese home and its contents reconstructed right on site. Much more on preparation for Chinese New Year in next month’s post!

Stay warm (or cool, depending on your locale) and enjoy the swiftly approaching leap into a time of holidays, friends, family, food, gratitude and peace… in other words everything the gifts of the season mean to you.

Chinese Adoption- the Magic and the Mysteries

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Homeland Trip to Yong Feng County, Jiangxi Province

You would think I’d be used to it by now. Raising a daughter that is so very definitely, positively, undeniably mine. But then I watched the PBS documentary ‘Twin Sisters’ recently about Chinese twins adopted by families as infants- one growing up in a tiny village in Norway, the other in urban California. Many memories and emotions bubbled up again that I had obsessed over long ago through the adoption process and early parenting years surrounding taking my daughter from China and her first family roots.

There are common questions felt by many international adoptive parents; how will my child frame and overcome never knowing who her birth family is, whether she has biological siblings, the circumstances around her abandonment…. heady stuff for sure. I remember the many nights working on her lifebook (adoption mamas know what this is) into the wee hours… making sure every word was crafted and image vetted to tell my daughter her story in just the “right” way. Is it sad? Is it a joyous journey of serendipity? Is it just what it is?

I read a NY Times op-ed last month about young Chinese today and the rural vs. wealthy urban disparity in educational opportunities. What if my daughter had stayed in her tiny rural town, blanketed in lotus fields? Is “what if” even relevant? ‘Somewhere Between’, another documentary that profiles adopted girls excavates even further the questions and longings experienced by some families. One Chinese-American teen goes so far as to return to China in search of her birthmother. (That’s a spoiler heads-up to preview before sharing with younger kids).

All of these quality written and documentary explorations snag my interest and for a bit, I can’t turn away. It’s all part of the fabric of my family… the reality we live with, juxtaposing daily life with the history which will never be written.

At a recent school conference, my daughter’s teacher reflected on an assignment where students were to construct a timeline of their personal best/worst/significant life events. The teacher said she had pointed out to the class to note anything remarkable about their birth and joining their family. She then implied to us with a grin that my daughter had not really felt there was! Huh?

Perhaps we raised our daughter with a feeling of normalcy and being comfortable accepting her beginnings. That was certainly always our hope and dream. She was seven when I made the long journey back to China with her for a “heritage trip” to visit her orphanage staff and to our surprise, met her foster family as well. She was cool as a cucumber (unlike her mother) and I think it reinforced to her that we DO acknowledge and cherish all of who she is and our great fortune in that. The only other residual effect I can say for sure is I now have a daughter with insatiable travel fever. And at the end of the day, I have to believe love is the answer to most any longing that tries to take hold of her heart.

Learning Mandarin…. Maybe

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Now that my daughter is settled back into school and learning is a focus around here, I’m thinking about one of my own goals- I want to learn Mandarin. This is not new, just deferred over and over again with many fits and starts. Life has gotten in the way for me, with several months of unexpected “down time” as far as starting new pursuits in earnest and having the time and energy for them. But I’m hoping to move beyond the day-to-day of my job, mum commitments, and essential tasks and try to stretch again.

Why? Admittedly, I have a very “what’s the point?” nature and am proprietary with my time. I know Mandarin will not be essential for any of my upcoming plans. But who knows what new plans may emerge as a result of getting my feet wet? I certainly will travel back to China eventually… and with some language under my belt perhaps I can be a cultural participant vs. a confused tourist. As with Lucky Bamboo Book of Crafts, knowing some Mandarin will reinforce to my daughter the importance of our multicultural world view, attitude and life.

I would also love to reach out to my local Chinese community more, and in their native tongue. There are lots of events and “practice Mandarin” roundtables and also our local Confucius Institute that can bolster this effort. Our high schools and colleges host many Chinese exchange students and teachers that would always embrace another Chinese speaker.

What will be the plan… online tools and videos? (Including Fluentlee.com, a great online real time language instruction site). Classes or immersion with a private local teacher? Pinterest is a good source to get started and I’ve already rounded up some helpful pins on my ‘Learn Mandarin’ board. I’ve put a couple of apps on my iPad too…. now the commitment! Yes I hear the collective sigh… don’t we all have those many goals as we turn the page, or the season, or the life change, or the birthday or the year? But that’s what makes us feel alive, and reminds us that the future can be full of wonder and growth (at any age!).

And how about my Chinese twelve-year-old? Well the reality is she has embraced learning French with such ease and determination, I don’t want to break her stride and insist on a “come with” on this language journey. Maybe she will catch the fever later on. She definitely embraces the idea of being a world citizen, but that seems to be spread across several continents, not exclusively Asia.

Ok I’ve stated my plan. It’s documented in the e-world and for now, I have run out of excuses. Have you or your kids taken on Mandarin and why? How have you learned and what has made it fun and kept you motivated? I’d love to hear from you!

Back to School

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If you are an educator, you are probably already rolling up your sleeves with curriculum, staff development and spiffing up your area at your school site; I remember it well from my art teacher days.

If a parent, the school shopping along with scheduling fall recreation and lessons may be keeping your days busy while you weave in a bit more summer fun. My daughter is entering 7th grade so I am somewhat “hands off” at this point, but I still get that jittery stomach when school starts up, as does she, with all that her “tween” life demands.

Here are a few thoughts to carry with you to tie Chinese culture into a new school year, whether you are a parent, teacher, activity leader or homeschool educator:

  • Anyone that hasn’t discovered TeachersPayTeachers.com needs to check it out. What an amazing resource! One of my goals in the upcoming months is to post some more lessons.
  • My friend in Singapore has just launched unitedteach.com, a great website that pairs virtual volunteers with classrooms to bring in special themes. Schools will be able to register soon and also, volunteers are needed if you have a talent or area of knowledge to share.
  • If your school has exchange students or teachers from China, remember what a valuable resource they are for learning about Chinese culture, and they would also always appreciate invitations, even while their host families are taking good care of them.
  • The Mid-Autumn Moon Festival comes early this year, on September 8th. It’s a great anchor for a celebration or to start a more robust unit on China. You can even extend through to Year of the Goat on February 19th. Now that would be dedication!

Take heart…. we all will make it over the September “hump”, with backpacks filled, schedules hammered out and early mornings conquered. Here in Maine, as in many parts of the country, it is also a most beautiful and mild time of year with gorgeous foliage to enjoy along with a fresh start.

Staying Put

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Author Jennifer DeCristoforo and daughter; Photo credit: Dennis Welsh Photography
Author Jennifer DeCristoforo and daughter;
Photo credit: Dennis Welsh Photography

Maine is an official “Vacationland” right now. Better yet, I get to enjoy it as the ultimate “stay-cation”  with my daughter. I am never more proud and happy to welcome guests, enjoy the festivals, assure people the lobster is not overrated, look out at the sparkling ocean and boast about Maine until even the Chamber of Commerce feels like an under-performer.

Then the world taps on my shoulder. There’s the wonderful new friend from Hong Kong (Maine in the summer) that found my book on Pinterest. Also in Maine now, my dear Singapore friends that we visited on their turf not long ago. And I sense my 12-year old feels the same tug as does her mother. As she turns the corner from child to teen, she wants it all. She feels so grounded and secure in our small Maine town, and cherishes her friends and school. But she talks of the future… with wanderlust that keeps her suitcase at the ready. “When is our next trip?” (Quebec City in a couple of weeks). I also wonder what conversations she has with her few but close adopted Chinese friends… do they ponder who will get back on another trip to Asia first? And her Dad and I have accepted that her college experience will be in D.C. at the very closest.

But with these thoughts my heart also fills with grief… the “world” just doesn’t seem to be doing too well right now. The level of suffering… from war and terrorism to children scrambling into the U.S. desperate and alone…. all results in senseless death on a grand scale. As a parent it is tough to navigate; do I shelter my daughter from this world she wants to discover or have her gradually step foot on to real street?

For now in the glorious summertime, staying put, body and mind, gives me a breather. I can be selective and grab just the good stuff that ‘Lucky Bamboo Book of Crafts’ and international friends offer from the world experience. I can volunteer with my daughter in our local Somali refugee community and see some happy outcomes from a war-torn nation. And as for the harsh and  relentless newsfeed, we can turn it off when it gets to be too much. If only that were true for everyone.

Lucky Bamboo Crafts- The Selling Journey

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Now that I’m promoting the book, many have asked, “How are you selling it?”. Getting the book in people’s hands does not happen overnight, especially from a new author. This step is a continuation of my blessing and curse of being a homegrown self-publisher that up to now has not yet worked with a publicist or marketing firm. Distribution is in my future (I guess that is my cliffhanger), but I have been “intimately” involved with every action of getting the book some exposure and sales. Yes, in other words I-did-everything.

My friend Joyce has a lovely fine art and handicraft gallery http://www.holeinthewallstudioworks.com/ and hosted a book signing for me recently. Along with Chinese dumplings and refreshments, we offered origami chopstick holders as a little giveaway. As I was folding and preparing them, I thought of what a creative experience the selling part of this journey can be with the right attitude, patience and limitless imagination. It was a balmy, beautiful evening with old friends and new, where I was able to shine and just be an author, not a frazzled promoter. I also sold a nice heap of books!

I’ve talked to many children at schools and libraries and gotten some wonderful comments and jubilant reactions to the book. I’ve also shared crafting projects at these events that are thrilling to the young makers and to me as well, to be able to offer a real thing (right here, right now) to craft and take home.

I’d like to say that describes my entire selling experience. The reality consists of many, many hours on the computer writing promo mail, making phone calls to stores, dipping my toe into social media (truth be told, Pinterest is the only platform I actually enjoy), planning appearances and events, maintaining Amazon, sending out review copies and talking about my book until even I get sick of it.

But I believe in it and the book I now hold in my hands truly reflects my original vision. Even with the second-guessing (that probably occurs with all authors the minute their book goes to press), I’m proud of what I’ve created, and so far, customers are finding it unique and useful and fun. When I receive a review like this http://www.biculturalmama.com/2013/06/100-kids-projects-for-celebrating.html I can smile, knowing the book is landing where it should be, finally standing on its own.